October 24th 2018 – The Beginning

First blog to document this journey of satisfying a dream. It came to me on September 27th 2018. I was on the couch with tears in my eyes feeling frustrated, stuck and emotionally heavy. I was questioning how I could continue this journey as a hospice nurse if after almost three years this was the emotional state I often found myself in. Maybe it’s just me. Or maybe I’m so familiar with containing my core self: easy going, goofy and happy to be “appropriate” when I am around my clients. I am an empathetic person and I never feel like it is appropriate to walk into a client’s home as my easy going, happy and goofy self when they are struggling and facing death. They are sad, low key and quite – so I match them to support them. Living this way for almost 3 years, I am finding it harder and harder to open my container at the end of the day that holds my goofy and funny side. I find it harder to open up and unleash it when I am home and done with work.

So as I rest and contemplate where my career is going, my thoughts drift to my upcoming half marathon. How can I combine my passion for running and fitness with nursing? I thought back to when I just graduated from nursing school and started a casual “Fit 4 Life” business where I worked with people to help them meet their fitness goals. That’s when the google search started.

“Fitness Nurse.”

“Nurse Health Coach.”

“Combining fitness and nursing”

An endless amount of searches, research and digging for ways to combine my passions.

It has been almost a month since that night. I have done countless research, I have reached out to many entrepeuners, I have listened to many many podcasts about “my shift”, I have networked and I have begun studying for my health coach certification. I have a rough and pretty clear idea of my clientele and goals for the business. I have a business name and goals to launch by the first of the year.

Right now, as I sit at my desk prior to starting my hospice nurse day, I still have overwhelming desperation to make a change, to find more balance and to shift my nursing focus from reactive to being more proactive.

It’s been a rollercoaster already of emotions – questioning self worth and if I’m “enough.” Wondering if I’ll fail or succeed. Wondering who I am to teach and support these people? But then that feeling fades and it’s followed by excitement, confidence, motivation and fierce desire.

I have a meeting with a mentor next week. I need to sign up for CPR and continue studying. I have yet to purchase a domain name, host or start my website. I have casually started to build a website but I don’t plan to use the ones I’ve started.

I have reached out to some trusted friends to confide in; they have helped maintain my confidence, guide me and support me through my journey.

It’s been less than a month. I’ve accomplished a lot so far, but there’s still so much more to do.

Follow me on this journey and check out my business – especially if you’re looking to reach your dreams and goals of being the healthiest version of yourself.

We can do it!